How to Manage Your State of Constant Fight or Flight

As moms, it often feels like we’re in constant fight or flight mode. It’s as if we are running a marathon from the moment we wake up until the time we fall asleep. Whether it’s handling the endless demands of family life, juggling work, or navigating the emotional rollercoaster of parenting, many of us live in a state of constant “go, go, go.” This never-ending rush leaves little room for rest, and over time, our bodies take notice.

What many moms may not realize is that living in this constant state of stress can activate what’s known as the “fight or flight” response. This wreaks havoc on our nervous system and overall well-being. Understanding how this happens and how to manage it can help you protect your mental and physical health.

What is the Fight or Flight Response?

The fight or flight response is a natural physiological reaction to perceived threats or stressors. It’s part of our body’s survival mechanism, designed to prepare us for action when faced with danger. Think of it as an internal alarm system that kicks into gear when you’re in a stressful situation. (Like your toddler throwing a tantrum at the grocery store or you’re running late for work and can’t find the car keys.)

When you’re in fight or flight mode, your body releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase your heart rate, sharpen your focus, and prepare your muscles to either confront or escape the threat. While this reaction is useful in short bursts, it becomes harmful when activated too often.

How Constant Stress Affects the Nervous System

Living in a chronic state of stress keeps the fight or flight response on high alert. Unfortunately, this constant activation takes a toll on your nervous system. This leads to a cascade of negative effects:

  1. Nervous System Overload: Constantly being in fight or flight mode overstimulates the sympathetic nervous system. This can leave you feeling tense, anxious, and emotionally drained. Over time, your body can lose its ability to properly relax and recover. This can make it harder to wind down even when you’re not under immediate stress.
  2. Adrenal Fatigue: Your adrenal glands produce cortisol and adrenaline. When you’re under stress for extended periods, these glands become overworked. This can lead to adrenal fatigue. You may experience feelings of exhaustion, burnout, irritability, and even depression.
  3. Weakened Immune System: Chronic stress weakens the immune system, making it harder for your body to fight off infections. Moms who are constantly stressed may find they get sick more often or take longer to recover from illnesses.
  4. Memory and Concentration Issues: High levels of cortisol can impair brain function, affecting your memory and ability to concentrate. As a mom with a full plate, this can make it harder to manage daily tasks.

Managing Stressors: How Moms Can Break the Cycle

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—you’re not alone, and the good news is that there are ways to reduce the toll of constant stress on your nervous system. By incorporating small but effective habits into your daily life, you can create a healthier balance between managing responsibilities and caring for yourself.

  1. Practice Deep Breathing: When you feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes to practice deep breathing exercises. Slow, deep breaths signal to your body that it’s safe to relax, helping to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes rest and recovery. Really. It works.
  2. Take Mindful Breaks: Even if your day feels jam-packed, it’s essential to take short breaks to decompress. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk outside, sitting in silence with a cup of tea, or reading a book, small breaks can help reset your nervous system and reduce overall stress.
  3. Prioritize Sleep: Moms often sacrifice sleep to catch up on tasks, but chronic sleep deprivation only exacerbates the stress response. Make sleep a non-negotiable part of your routine by going to bed at the same time each night and creating a calming bedtime ritual, like reading or practicing relaxation techniques.
  4. Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to ask for help, whether from your partner, family, or friends. It can be hard to admit we can’t do it all, but reaching out for support is vital for your well-being.
  5. Exercise Regularly: Physical activity is one of the best ways to relieve stress. You don’t need to spend hours at the gym. A 20-minute walk, yoga, or dancing in your living room with your kids can work wonders for your nervous system.
  6. Limit Caffeine and Sugar: While it’s tempting to rely on coffee and sugary snacks to get through the day, these can spike cortisol levels and increase anxiety. Try to opt for water, herbal teas, and balanced meals with plenty of protein and healthy fats to keep your energy steady.

Final Thoughts

As moms, we often put our own well-being last. But by taking proactive steps to manage stress and nurture your nervous system, you can show up as a healthier, more present version of yourself. It’s not about eliminating stress completely—it’s about finding the balance and creating moments of calm in your day, even in the chaos of motherhood.